fiji-indo-palagi mama from Wellington

I grew up in Auckland feeling caught between worlds as so many of us do, feeling not quite at home in any of the worlds I inhabited.

I came out when I was 14. The fact that my mum and dad had flown bravely in the face of public opinion with their own rulebreaking cross-cultural relationship meant they were pretty well placed to deal with the fact that their daughter was a homo, though they struggled at times with it.

Wasn’t until I went to London and found a whole queer bhangra scene happening there that I realised that there were other queer indians like me! The queer community that I’d known in Aotearoa/NZ was pretty white, and the NZ indian society I was familiar with was pretty straight, and so it was a REVELATION to see the fabulous intersection of my two worlds.

I feel very nostalgic for that part of London that I knew briefly in 2002-2004.

We’ve got two little kids now. I want them to know my indian family as their family, but my dad’s side are very conservative and don’t understand my relationship let alone my family. I would love to hear from anyone with an opinion about how to sail these shifty seas.

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