Caribbean-born South Asian queer woman, 27, Auckland

Coming out to my parents 4 years ago was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. There were many tears and a few threats of suicidal actions. Talking with my Asian friends around their families’ reactions, I know that this is unfortunately not uncommon. Despite everything that has been said between us, I am glad it is out in the open now. I respect and love my family too much to have them find out my sexual orientation through some second-hand malicious gossip.

Homosexuality was something we did not discuss when I was growing up as I’m sure my parents felt that it was a white western phenomenon that would never taint our family. Now that it has, I feel they are coping remarkably well. They said they would always love me. I have much hope that one of these days my parents will be able to talk with their friends and community about me without fear or shame of being ostrasized. And who knows? perhaps our extended family back home will someday understand too. Our home country has not yet decriminalized homosexuality but there is awesome activism happening and support for our cause can only get stronger.

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